Camera Update (Photo credit: AndyWilson)
R -rated!
This idea originally came into my head as a Christmas present for my husband, but then I got to thinking about how much it would cost to hire a photographer and how I could get him something REALLY cool for that much money (like some electronic gadget). So I decided to make it a fun date night instead.
Grab your camera, put on some lingerie, and get ready to shoot some ……pictures! My husband suggested I give the guys a script (this is not my strongest skill), so bare with me. (double entendre there 
W-Hey honey, how about this? as she squishes her breasts together and leans over with a grin
M-grins and snaps a shot
M-Lay here for a picture and pats the bed
W-lays on her side with her hand supporting her head, her top leg crossed over her body and her bottom in the air.
M- situates her so she looks her best (or so he can get the shot he really wants), yeah, that looks hot and smiles sexily.
W- looks lustfully into the camera for shot.
M- how about we try some on your back now?
W-rolls onto her back
M-arch your back more (stick out your boobs, don’t say that though!) put one knee up, as he situates her and ends by sliding his finger up her leg and to the edge of her panties.
W-like this?
M-perfect baby and snap several shots
M-Let’s try some on your knees
W-okay, smile innocently
M-Oh, I meant your hands and knees, have her look at you, then arch her back again so her bottom sticks up more.
M-go all around her to take shots and get her to adjust so you get the shots that turn you on best.
M-I’d like a few without clothes wink
W-bite lip, blush and look down, then slowly take off clothes
M-snap some pictures!
W-cover your breasts with your arms (but squeeze them so they look bigger and cover your girly parts with your hand.
M-You are so beautiful said thoughtfully
W-I love you
M-I would really love it if you touched yourself
W-nervously okay? grins and obeys
M-Now lay on the bed (she does) Oh, I didn’t say stop
W-enjoying herself
M-spread her legs a bit with her knees bent and get some nice shots
W-try to look like you’re really enjoying yourself, moan, open your mouth, close your eyes, arch your back
M-just do whatever shots you think are missing, move her body all around, then get rid of the camera and finish right.
Tagged: date night
Love the idea of turning it into a date night!
AWE–S–O–M–E!!!!!
No, you’re awesome
We did something like this years ago, hoooot!
have you got any suggestions?
This is an interesting “date night idea.” Unfortunately for me, I cannot partake in this activity with my wife. As is stated in the Castimonia sobriety statement;
“…sobriety will be different for each member of Castimonia, depending upon what behaviors are compulsive and lead to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. Some addicts can engage in sexual behaviors from which other addicts find they must abstain; in Castimonia, we leave the choice up to the individual.”
Because of my compulsive use of pornography, viewing and filming it with sex partners, I can never again enjoy what you described, because it would reduce my wife into a sexual object, not a child of God and my beautiful wife.
That is where my addiction has led, I cannot enjoy things other “normal” couples can enjoy – but I am ok with that, and grateful for what I can enjoy.
BTW, I hope no photos were actually taken, did I misread something? I wouldn’t want photos of my wife to somehow end up on the internet….
I’m not sure what I think about sexual addiction, I’m not sure it even exists, but whatever you are doing seems to be working for you in a positive way. I like how you love and treasure your wife. I think our marriage is very different from yours.
I didn’t believe in sexual addiction until I realized how far down the scale I had gone. It was a relief for me to understand why I did the things I did, but not an excuse! In understanding why I am like I am, I can allow God to change my life (and He has).
Just so that you know, sexual addiction has nothing to do with sex, it is much deeper. We, sex addicts, are addicted to the chemical cocktail produced during compuslive sexual behaviors by the human brain – adrenaline, dopamine, seratonine, etc… Sex is mearly the way we access our “drug” of choice, much like a heroin user uses a needle, we use sex.
Interesting! Did you have lots of affairs, did your marriage survive? Sounds kind of like weight watchers for people who have trouble with eating problems. If we have accountability for eating, then it makes sense to have groups for sex addicts. How long have you been “free”?
I only had a few affairs but had over 100 sex partners, mostly anonymous females, strippers, pornstars, prostitutes. Also, I spent about 8 hours a day watching pornography. Sex with my wife was unfullfilling ONLY because of how skewed my arousal template was and how I couldn’t get excited unless the sex was pornographic or risky (again, triggering the chemicals in my brain).
Yes, by God’s grace, my marriage survived. My testimony is written under the “leaders” section of my site. I have been in recovery for over 3 years and now help men who are struggling with sexual purity issues.
Keep in mind that not all men who struggle with sexual purity are sex addicts. A sex addict is clinically diagnosed based on a standard set by a group of therapists. You can read more and take a self test by viewing this post:
http://castimonia.org/2012/04/16/am-i-a-sex-addict/
I love this idea!
Thanks Rhonda, good to have you visit today!
Sounds like fun, but oddly enough, it doesn’t sound like something I want to do with my wife. Can’t explain why.
For me, I can only say that as someone who was engulfed into pornography, taking sexual or risque photos of my wife constitutes the objectification of her. For me, this is not what sexual intimacy with my wife is about.
These are only my opinions on why I wouldn’t want to do this – my mind is skewed towards the conservative side of sex, only because I am a recovering sex addict.
I think I’m on the opposite end of the spectrum. My husband felt I was over-valuing my body, to a point where he didn’t feel liked. I believe “princess” was a term he used against me to express his hurt. So I’m trying to make myself as available and sexually interested in him as possible right now.
Sounds like a good plan as long as it is “healthy” – each couple may have their own definition. For us, it is sexual intimacy 2 to 3 times a week at the very maximum down to 2 to 3 times a month, at the very minimum. Any more and it could constitute sexual compulsivity, any less and it could constitute sexual avoidance.
You gave the second negative response from a guy for this blog, so maybe you’re right.
Different strokes for different folks, that’s all
Two big thumbs up for this idea!
Thank you Joseph, it’s nice to have support from the man’s perspective every once in awhile. My husband seemed to approve of the idea also, and that’s what’s really important to me these days.
I think it’s a great idea because it has worked for us. I have been taking sexy pics, and videos, of my wife for years.
I enjoy the process of taking the pics since it is a lot of fun. Plus I get to enjoy them later, anytime I want.
Hey, Sis-I think you’re doing a fabulous job with this blog. And this idea here is amazing. AMAZING. To be honest, this almost exact thing is something I’ve been dreaming about my wife doing with me for years–we’ve been married for five. A few times a year, I’ll ask her to do something like this, and she’ll always turn me down, saying she’s “not comfortable” with it and “afraid they’ll end up on the internet.”
Here’s the thing, though–she’s not uncomfortable with wearing lingerie for me (we have “stay-in date nights” where she wears a different “outfit” for each stage–hanging out, cooking, dinner, dessert, bedroom, and that’s pretty incredible). So it’s not that she’s uncomfortable with me seeing her in those ways. I think it’s just something about the photographing, that she’ll feel like her body will look bad on the camera (like most women, she’s very self-conscious, even though I constantly reinforce to her how gorgeous she is). As far as the ending up online, part of my job is IT, and I know how to encrypt them so that, even if they did end up online (which they won’t), no one would be able to open the files anyway.
I have an awesome partner and helpmeet and friend and lover in my wife–I want to be clear about that. But this photography thing is something I’d really, really, really, really love to do with her, and I don’t know how to help her feel comfortable with doing it. I also don’t want to keep asking every few months, and make her upset or something like that. Do you have any advice?
And, again, thanks for what you’re doing here!
@Matt – sorry for jumping in here. Your wife’s uneasiness with this idea was a bit of my own too. Even though we’ve been married for over 25 years, it’s still the whole “what if it ends up on the net?” thing. Let me encourage you; it’s not about you. I trust my hubby completely; yet this naggling little fear still rises up for stuff like this. My suggestion would be to start in slow increments. How about a special camera card (and here’s the clincher) that SHE keeps, and you only view together. I can appreciate Joseph’s comment about being able to enjoy the pics anytime, however, your wife just isn’t there yet in her comfort zone for this particular activity. Maybe one day she will be … maybe not. But for now, you could enjoy taking the pics and together you guys can appreciate your fine photography “skills.”
What a great idea! Now, to figure out whether I buy that card first, or talk to her about it first–you know how eager we fellows get
I’m still worried about her body image thing, but that’s another convo. Regardless, some great ideas!
Robyn, you always give such good advice, I don’t even consider the internet, my husband is computer brilliant and would just take care of that part to keep me safe.
Hi Matt, I’ve been thinking about your question and it seems complicated to me, so I’ll be blogging about it today and hopefully have an answer for you. God bless!
Do women like to be objectified? Is this another of the lies that Feminism has spread (don’t objectify women)?
Hello Sir Dorsey, It is good to see you again today! Objectify would be treating women as an object instead of as a person, so I don’t think women overall would like that. However, we don’t mind our naked bodies being appreciated and if our man handles us a little roughly it’s kind of sexy too.
Thank you for your response. I have been confused on this issue of objectification, and I appreciate the candor you have allowed.
I read in your response: 1. Women don’t like to be objectified if that means being treated as an object and not a person. 2. Women enjoy being viewed and handled as beautiful/desirable objects.
In the past, the dissidence between 1 and 2 would have overwhelmed me. Now, I get it. Women seek to be objectified in a safe environment by a worthy man. The man must have a strong frame that allows her emotional comfort and communicates to her his high value.
Being objectified is vulnerability, therefore women seek men who are strong enough not to break down/ support her vulnerability.
My original question was if women seek to be objectified. In other words, is objectification an unspoken desire that women look for from men?
It would make sense if this were the case (seeking out men to objectify her) as it is a quality of the strong masculine to be able to provide the frame of a safe emotional space that would make objectifying pleasurable.
humor on this topic:
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_RSgWpnQSNCs/TU7iinDxSdI/AAAAAAAAAGI/MX7N42ZXwcQ/s640/vanity-fair-cover-seth-rogen.jpg
LOL!! I love those guys.
This might a different twist on the objectification in that, when someone captivates a man, that person than becomes the object (subject) of his captivation — his sole (soul) focus to the exclusion of all others; hence – objectification. I want to be the “object” of my husband’s affections; the object of his fantasies; the object of his pleasure. As usual, the world (aka Satan) takes something as hot and beautiful as a husband being completely captivated by his wife and turns it into “objectification” of men towards women — without love. Without the purity of love in marriage — objectification is certainly an ugly thing.
Robyn, I could not read your take on objectification without thinking about Eve. She was told “You can be like God” by satan. Adam followed her, knowing she wasn’t God. Yet he chose to listen to her rather than God.
I couldn’t read your take on the corruption that sin brings into marriage without thinking of the original sin in the original marriage. Perhaps what we are stumbling around is that same lie.
Men are good at making idols. Women are good at wanting to be like God. Put the two sins together and there can be terrible consequences.
What it looks like is this error from my own marriage:
I was not loving her. I pedestalized her. When she acted in her fallen nature, I experienced cognitive dissidence. What I believed her to be was not backed up by my experience of her actions.
To deal with the dissidence, I created an imagined version of her (idol). This imagined version of her was easy to love as it was perfect. A new problem arose. My real wife was neglected and unloved. She knew she was not that object of my love and desire. I projected an image onto her that was not her. She tried to live up to my idolized version of her, but could not.
She shut down, emotionally. She always felt I was judging her. I was perplexed, because I didn’t understand how I was judging her. She said that every little household chore that she performed felt as if it were not good enough. By creating an idol of her and projecting it on to her, I had judged her to be not good enough. I said I loved my wife, and I meant it. The problem was I didn’t know her. I was lying to myself, it was easy. I had no responsibility to the true woman because I hid behind a perfect false woman.
I agree that God should always come first before your spouse. We should love Him more and go to Him first. I’ve had unrealistic expectations for my husband before too, especially when we were first married. I had this idea of the perfect Christian husband that he fit into, and he didn’t know what to do with the rest of his personality, so it was hidden from me and he felt guilty about it. It has been refreshing for both of us to be more honest with each other and to just love each other for who we are.
Especially the object of his fantasies! This sounds wonderful, Robyn.
wow that must have been so hard for you dorsey47; I’m guessing that revelation has brought truth and freedom to the both of you.
I can see how that impression might have been arrived at with what I’m saying. However, I’m coming at this more from Solomon’s view of love and his wife. And also that the love factor is indeed the one that changes things. I believe it is possible to objectify (as in the object of one’s affections) your wife without making her an idol. Just like a wife is to completely surrender to her husband (master, lord etc) without making him “God.”