I’m slowly developing my own philosophy on what a marriage blog should be about. I really like the Red Pill Philosophy written by Athol Kay of MMSL ,
Red Pill Philosophy (Sexy Christian Wife style):
Men need to be alpha (manly, attractive, dominant, teasing, financially stable, the captain of their marriage, physically fit, entertaining) and beta (kind, servant-like, loving, good father, responsible)
Women need to be alpha (pretty, crazy into sex, feminine, physically fit, entertaining) and beta (keeps home clean, cooks meals, kind, loving, respectful to husband, submissive, good mother, responsible)
There is also lots of stuff about sex rank and if your sex rank (alpha traits) is lower than your spouses sex rank, then you need to work hard to raise your sex rank before you can legitimately expect them to change or start giving you the treatment you deserve. (this can get confusing because it is hard to figure out where your sex rank is in comparison to your spouses)
I like the simple and clear way Athol Kay has described how human nature works and what naturally attracts and draws your spouse. It’s hard to see the mercy mixed in with this philosophy, but Athol does a good job of sprinkling it into his blog posts. I also like his focus on action and self-improvement before expecting changes from your spouse.
Because of the lack of mercy in the red pill philosophy, it is easy to get discouraged or give up on your marriage, at least it is for me. if I read and focus on it too much, I lose hope, I realize that I can’t force my husband to stay married to me no matter how hard I try, I also realize that I am not a perfect red pill woman. This philosophy shines the light on my flaws and it makes me really want to try hard, but it’s impossible for me to be perfect because I’m human and sinful and my sinfulness will always be a good excuse for my husband to leave me. I like to think of this philosophy as “the law of marriage”, and as the law it does a good job of motivating and giving us a goal to attain to. As a Christian woman, I have seen how in my past, I’ve put too much focus on beta characteristics and undermined alpha characteristics as being shallow; but if I really love my husband, I need to put equal emphasis on both alpha and beta personality characteristics out of love for him and my desire to help him resist temptation.
As a Christian, I have learned that when God gives us laws, the purpose of His laws is to help us live pure and happy lives and to draw us closer to Him when we fail. So I would like to add some extra grace and mercy to the marriage formula: when you can’t obtain the standard of the law (and you and your spouse won’t be able to), then we need to use our weaknesses as a way to draw closer to God and ask for His help to defeat our sins or ask for His help to fulfill the needs we have that our spouse is not meeting. I also think that God asks us to love our spouses unconditionally despite their flaws (this does not include abuse). And finally, and most importantly, I think our source of hope should not be in ourselves, but in Christ. It is never how much we can do to save our marriages, it is His grace that allows us to do anything good at all, our strength and our hope come from God, not ourselves, but we should always keep trying and praying for His grace to live loving, disciplined lives.
Feminine and Submissive
Something that is still missing from this philosophy, is how to be submissive and feminine, and I really wouldn’t expect Athol Kay to specialize in that, but I want it to be a big part of this blog and I want to understand it better.
So here is the direction I’m going…
God’s Grace + Red Pill + Emphasis on Femininity and Submission + Sex, Humor, and Music just for fun
I would love to have you join me for the ride, and I would love to be more available to you when you have problems or questions. Please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you need anything.