Last night we were cuddling in bed and my husband wasn’t up for sex because of an injury, but he decided to still pleasure me because I really wanted it and he started it with that amazing kiss, and he’s just that kind of guy. Well anyway, he was touching me and I decided to start telling him about my day at the zoo with the kids (What was I thinking? Stupid stupid stupid). There was this tiger there that was really loud, it would kind of meow-roar. I didn’t think he got how sad this tiger really sounded, so I started imitating the loud meow-roar and I think it made me sound so pathetic and made him laugh so hard he decided to stop touching me. He was probably thinking how can she be into what I’m doing if she is making loud obnoxious sounds while she’s doing it? He was right, if I really wanted it, I didn’t do a very good job of being in the moment and convincing him. So sex ended for us, but then we got into a funny conversation about what being a tiger would really be like in the bedroom. So this is part tongue-in-cheek, but hey, it just might work; they don’t call it tiger in the bedroom for no reason. Also I think these tips would work for both men and women.
Tiger Sex Tips:
Sneak up on him and attack him throughout the day often to let your intentions be made known for later.
Start Foreplay Slowly but Intense, like you’re trying to capture your prey
Rip His Clothes Off
Lick Him All Over, Slowly (also intense)
Bite, Scratch, and Pull Hair
Be Very Loud and Growly
Treat His Dick Like Raw Meat and You Are Starving For It (but don’t bite…enthusiasm is key)
Wrestle and Roll Around
Sexy Challenge: Sneak up on your husband at least 3 times today, jump on him and playfully bite his neck to prepare him for later. Rahr!
The Lone Wolf Exercise for Men (The Wild Man Project)