My husband got a like on facebook of a picture he uploaded of our kids from this girl he knew on a very surface level, but when I clicked on her profile picture I got a picture of a naked body with roses covering her nipples and and spiky chains around her neck and stomach. Definitely a girl into BDSM, and she was single, and probably only 20 or 21 years old. He didn’t get into trouble because he can’t really control who likes his pictures and facebook just changed their feature so more people can see more things, so he is redoing his friends and privacy for me. But I can’t get over the idea that she is into BDSM with men she doesn’t know very well and at a very young age. BDSM is going to be sex for her, it isn’t going to be a dabbling, and I wonder if she’ll ever have normal sex or be satisfied with normal sex. I wonder if she really likes BDSM or if she’s trying to stand out among women as “the sexiest of them all” and getting positive attention for it. I can’t imagine being in her shoes, and it scares me that young women out there are choosing this path.
I also recently ran across a picture on a blog of a woman with stripes across her back from a BDSM sexual experience. Now don’t get mad at men, she probably convinced him she wanted it and she probably liked it too. BDSM is very exciting sexually, quite the high I hear.
Why are we this way? What is so alluring about receiving pain and being completely submissive to a man? Why do I have fantasies so dirty I wouldn’t tell a soul and why did God make us with these desires if they are so evil? It makes me think of the show Dexter and how he would get a high every time he murdered someone, murder was addicting and it felt powerful and good to him, so he just pretended to be a nice guy to the world, but behind the scenes he had ultimate power over people’s lives. I don’t think BDSM is like murder really, but it helps me to find some perspective of where it is and our human desires.
I think that women crave strong, powerful men. We crave it so much, that if we’re not getting it in bed we resort to fantasies. I don’t think this is wrong, God is strong, he’s powerful, and he’s to be feared. There’s a reason that God said men should be like Christ and women should be like the church. Men get to be the powerful ones and women get to be the beautiful ones. Men out there, make sure your wife is getting a taste of your power during sex every once in awhile, we need it just as much as you do.
I got a sneak peek into 50 Shades of Grey….
“I pull him deeper into my mouth so I can feel him at the back of my throat and then to the front again. My tongue swirls around the end. He’s my very own Christian Grey-flavored popsicle. I suck harder and harder … Hmm … My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves.”
I imagine there is nothing better to a man than a woman who is taking complete pleasure in him sexually, savoring him “like chocolate”, and delighting in him. Is it sacreligious to jump to this is what God asks us to do. God asks us to glorify Him and enjoy Him forever, that is the chief end of man…so would it not be a leap to say that this is what husbands desire..husbands being Christ and the wife being the church, Christ should be enjoyed and glorified too?
Anyway, I would like to conclude with… The desires of BDSM are right and good, but I don’t think the method of BDSM is the way to appease those desires. BDSM is a lie that our culture is feeding us that tells us it will satisfy our needs of powerful strong men and women who delight, scream, and thoroughly enjoy having sex with their man. I think BDSM actually leads to more painful things, to women who feel worthless, and to men who, well I don’t know what it might do to a man.
I think the only way for men to be stronger and for women to be more “delighting-able”, is to first go to God. What could make a man stronger than being one with Christ, who out there is stronger than Christ? Women first need to understand how to savor and delight in God, and then take the next step of savoring and delighting in their husbands. Only God can satisfy this need, BDSM is a lie.
This song totally turns me on, why is it so easy to worship men instead of God, why is it such a temptation to be taken and abused? What is this in me that wants to be used instead of loved.