Morticia said something awhile ago about how fun it would be to corrupt Superman. (Tortured Soul or Disarming Innocence) The rest of the women in the conversation admitted they would much rather be corrupted by Batman. Superman is the good guy, Batman’s a good guy too but he has this dark troubled side to him and you know that left alone in a room with him, he’d be sexually unpredictable. This weird conversation got me thinking about my husband and what roles we played in our marriage. There was no doubt in my mind he was the corrupter and I was the good girl. He is my viking warrior and I am his princess. He is almost always pushing my limits and challenging me to let my guard down, to have more fun. He’ll even come attack me with tickling till I fall on the floor and eventually give in to something much more exciting. He is the conqueror and I am the conquered, it’s an undertone that is a big part of our daily life now and it was a big part of our life when we were dating.
After we married, we lost this sexual tension because suddenly he didn’t have to try hard for me anymore and I lost the sexual anticipation and foreplay that was a big part of our interactions because of course I was supposed to have sex with him and not make him work for it. After the initial excitement of “WE GET TO HAVE SEX!!!!!” wore off, sex was kind of disappointing, there was no sexual tension. Soon he discovered I had new boundaries like “not allowed to grab my bottom” or “not allowed to grab my boobs outside of the bedroom”, and he tried to conquer these because that is his masculine nature and when I wouldn’t allow it because of my feminine (modesty) nature he grew frustrated with me and I was frustrated with him.
Many marriages are missing this sexual tension because the wife is “too easy” in the bedroom and her boundaries are “too high” outside of the bedroom. Husbands thrive on winning, so let him win you. Put up a little resistance out of modesty but end up with him being so irresistible that you can’t help but give in. You might just discover it is incredibly exciting. This corrupter/good girl dynamic fulfills his needs to compete, to win, to feel powerful, to feel like a man and to feel respected. It fulfills her needs to be loved, to be chased and to feel like a woman. Oh, and once a month during ovulation week when your mind is going crazy with dirty fantasies, switch roles on him. Also I’ve heard there are many successful marriages where the dynamic is switched; where he wants to rescue the bad girl from herself.
Sidenote: Of course I had to think about how this fit in with Christianity and if it was a sinful dynamic to have in a marriage. Shouldn’t we both be trying to be the “good” person all of the time? My husband answered this well for me. He reminded me of the story of the prodigal sons where one son is “good” and stays home and works for his father and the other son rebels and runs away with his inheritance money. When the rebellious son returns home humbled and repentant, his father forgives him, has a party for him and welcomes him home with open arms. This makes the righteous son angry because he doesn’t think his brother deserves all the special treatment but what he forgets is we are not saved by our works, our works do not make us righteous. Only God’s grace and Christ dying on the cross for our sins makes us righteous. Nothing we do on our own makes us righteous. There is a balance between being too prideful of our righteousness and being too caught up in sin where we need to be. So delight in God, delight in your husband’s natural masculinity and don’t try to suppress it with too many rules. Accept and enjoy your husbands and make them feel like men
Tagged: Batman, Christ, Christian Marriage, Christian Sex, Christianity, Marriage, Pleasing Your Husband, Relationships, Seductive, Sex, Sexology, Sexual intercourse, Sexual tension, Sexuality, Sizzler, The Good Girl